"Spark joy" is the English version of the Japanese word tokimeki (ときめき). In everyday Japanese, tokimeki is the flutter of your heart when you have a crush on someone. In tidying, it means something simpler: the feeling you get when you hold an item, and part of you has already decided to keep it.
I am a KonMari® consultant in Tokyo, and I read Marie Kondo's book in Japanese first. Here is what the word really means, and how to use it when you have a lot to decide.
What does tokimeki mean in Japanese?
Tokimeku means your heart beats fast or flutters, usually with love or excitement. It is a romantic word, and to be honest, I still feel a little shy using it for a pair of socks.
In her book, Marie Kondo does not describe it as one particular emotion. She describes it as a reaction in your body: "When you touch a piece of clothing, your body reacts." On the official KonMari website, she adds that joy is personal, so everyone feels it differently.
Is "spark joy" the same thing?
Close, but not exactly. "Spark joy" comes from the English edition, translated by Cathy Hirano, and I think it is a brilliant choice of words. It keeps the sudden, bright lift of tokimeki and drops the romance. I can say "this sparks joy" without feeling shy.
What if nothing seems to "spark joy"?
Many people tell me, "I don't know what that feels like." That is normal. There is no "right" feeling to look for, but three things always help:
Touch each item, one at a time. Don't judge a whole shelf just by looking at it.
Feel, don't think. You may not be able to explain it, and that's fine.
Notice your body. A small lift, or a slight heaviness. Your body often decides before your head does.
Start with clothes. They are easier to feel than books, papers, or photos, and your sense gets sharper as you go.
A quick test: would you throw away your phone?
If I asked, "Do you want to throw away your smartphone?" you would say no before I finished the question. That is the level to aim for. The things you truly want to keep are the ones you keep without a moment of doubt.
If you hold something and hesitate, that pause is information. It may mean the item has done its job for you. You can thank it and let it go.
Try it with one drawer
You don't need a free weekend to start. Take one drawer of clothes, hold each item, and notice what your body says. Keep what you would keep without thinking. Look again at everything else.
If you are getting ready to move in Tokyo, here is where to start: I'm moving soon in Tokyo. Where do I even start decluttering?
If you'd like someone beside you while you decide, I work in person across central Tokyo, in English or Japanese. See how the program works.
